“With brave wings she flies.”
Last weekend I walked into my Saturday morning Weight Watchers meeting and said goodbye to my leader and the receptionist who has weighed me in almost every single Saturday since my weight loss journey began in November 2015. Last week I had an epiphany.
It was time for me to quit Weight Watchers.
I have been in recovery from binge eating disorder for 10 years. I went to therapy the first time in 2008, and again in 2014… and I’m seeking help again now, in 2018. For an in depth explanation for my decision, please watch the video on this post.
I am taking intentional steps to embrace intuitive eating once and for all.
I do not regret the last 2.5 years. I have been incredibly blessed by the Weight Watchers community. I have made some amazing friends and memories that I am so thankful for. The Weight Watchers program helped me lose 100 pounds, something I needed to do for not only my physical health, but my mental health.
But today, I’ve reached a point in my journey that I had to make a decision as to how I needed to move forward as I began struggling more and more with body image and feelings of failure. Over the last few months I have thought long and hard about this decision and I want to make this clear.
THIS IS ABOUT ME.
I am not telling anyone else how to feel about your own program or how you choose to feed your body. But, this is what I need to do in order to have a healthy relationship with food and my body.
I have used Weight Watchers as a guideline and told myself I was eating intuitively.
What I’ve learned is that I can’t fully embrace intuitive eating and be tied to a weight loss program.
I left my meeting last Saturday and cried the whole way home.
This is scary.
I feel alone.
But, I know it’s going to be ok.
I believe that at this point in my life, intuitive eating is how I can find freedom, and peace.
I’m not chasing the next “thing”.
I’m not “quitting” Weight Watchers because I hate Freestyle or it didn’t work. This is just the next step on my journey, one I am hopeful will lead to a lifetime of peace with my body.
I don’t know what my future holds.
I don’t need to.
This is what I need to do for ME, right now. And that is all that matters.
I appreciate your support and encouragement as I continue on my beautifully broken journey.